Monday, November 16, 2009

Does The Fish Massage Include Happy Ending?

Khaosan RoadImage via Wikipedia
Cautiously, I venture out into the tumult that is Chinatown. Teeming with traffic and humanity, I quickly learn that it is the pedestrians responsibility to not interrupt the flow of traffic and if some farang gets in the way that is his problem.

It seems that half the crosswalks are placed strategically on blind curves, making the game that much more risky and intriguing. At one point I am forced to take the walk of shame back from whence I came, due to the utter refusal of left  turning traffic to respect my right of way.

Bangkok's Chinatown is not the quaint few blocks that it is in Toronto, but a huge enclave within this massive city. One could easily spend a week exploring all the nooks and crannies of this magical area and still not complete the job.

Daunted by the main streets, I retreat into the alleys and side streets that compose an incomprehensible labyrinth of stalls selling everything under the sun. And I do mean everything.

As I pass one store a lady asks me if I would like a massage. Thai massage is a renowned and perfectly legitimate endeavour. I politely decline and continue, wondering if I was being offered a massage or a "massage". About 87 seconds later, my question is answered, when another lady offers me a massage but adds the words "boom boom".

In Asian sex parlance, there are two items on the basic menu. One is "boom boom" and the other is "yam yam". I leave the translation to you.

The following day I find myself in the very touristy Khao San Road area. I notice a sign offering "fish massage", whereby one has their feet massaged by dozens of tiny fish nibbling at your toes, eating the dead skin from your feet.

Now if they could only train the fish to do "yam yam" this place would be Troy McClure heaven.